Of lacey and beads

I didnt write too much lately. i guess my mine is too preoccupied to settle what's coming this dec. hmmmm. too much thots that im not sure whether i can handle this or not. too much of everything that once in while it gives u a knot in ur tummy, feeling insecure and unsure how to react.

It leads u thinking why r u doing this. The expectations and everything that trails behind it.

Changes will be big. huge. and absolutely humongous.

....

hey si ketam. 

keep on swimmingg

it's been almost 2 months i did not rant anything here. i got so much to write, so many to share yet, sometimes in front of screen nothing just come out. hehe.

feel u....hahaah

here i am. home again. every single sight of the lanes and trees leading to the house, feel so good and welcoming. i took slower steps, scrutinising the details of the road, the houses neighbouring it and every else in between.

home is where ur heart is...lol

I am now entering my 3rd posting. still a lousy ho if u ask me. medical and surgical r definitely 2 different line of thots. medical like take blood this, that, ix pending, let's wait, cont observation and bla bla bla. on the other hand, surgical like, ok knbm, knbm, knbm....hahaha if u know what i mean. i enjoy both anyway. adapting and still learning everyday.

Sometimes, u remembered back ur early days being a ho. the 1st few months. away from family, home and good friends. everyday is a fight. i tell myself, that i have a choice. i can choose to be sad and cry everyday. or i can choose to be happy, go to work, do my task properly and enjoy the people around me. i chose latter. although, there were still crappy days. but alhamdulillah i still managed to survive my 1st few months.

and u wonder, what the purpose of above pic? hahah. it was a bad day and i was trying to smile for the camera which i looked ridiculous actually haha. this was after i was being scolded likeee gile2 by my superior for causing my patient to miss his ambulance. (well, wasnt really entirely my fault, my niat suci murni was to help a colleague, but later i was indirectly dragged into it too lol). sometimes, u dun get life. hahaha. i mean, u r trying ur best to do ur task, yet u got scolded by ur patient. u got screamed by the pt's relative at the point where every one else in the ward can hear. and the sister of the ward was furious and started to interrogate u back. and later, ur superior plak scolded at u in front of everybody else. and at the end of the day, the blame was on this lousy ho. yet, here ur r, running here and there trying to do ur best. maybe was not the best yet. hahahaha.

there will be bad days...always will haha

but stil there r good days too. u will never forget the moment, after conducting a delivery, and the mother decided to name the baby after u (thank God, my name is cute and the baby was a girl lol). meeting patients and relatives who kept on thanking u despite u dun do that much. and so much more.

lol. once dh start ranting, feel like non stop pule haha.

just keep on swimming going hihi.

my fav trail for jogging...hihi...a place to sort out the clutterness of ur mind. 

with copwaa and chaaan. 

perks having beach at back of hosp. uneventful ward, pantai STAT! ahaha

till here. and till i write some more. :)

Raya :)

Off day in Tganu be like....
.
beach
.
beach
.
and some more beach.

Even on a hot sunny day. :)

ntah ape yg cube dilakukan 

This raya, many of my siblings were away. So it was just my parents, my younger brother and i. But still i was still happy to be home. Seeing ur parents is such a blessing. 

going home on the 1st raye...both were postcall. thank God, we survived the journey with caffein on board of course.

the only raye photo i got...hahaha

till here. not so many things to write. i've promised myself to study for viva, which i've been procrastinated since ever...lol

Studying is so much easier when u r student. Now, it's like malas-ness everywhere and wanted to sleep every time that is possible hahahaha.

Well, guess not to late to say, eid mubarak peeps :)

missing ramadhan and every thing else in between

#1
"1st day tak sahur  dgn family ni"
"oh, ak everyday.."
"xpe mu dah biase"

Biasa. Lame jugak word tu clings inside my brain.

Bukan biase. its the only choice though.

Ramdhan coming to its end. Alhmdulillah, for the past few weeks, i was assigned to a less busy ward. So, dan juga nk berkejaran ke masjid klau shift pagi la.

Slalu lps solat kt qaryah, once kuar masjid, benda pertama aku akan wat adalah mencari kelibat baba. Nak balik cepat sbb ngantuk hahaahah. ok lwk. Tp sekarang drive sorg2 prgi, balik nak kuar masjid, pandang kanan kiri, ntah aku cube cari sape pun tak pasti. lol.

Lepak kat fountain yg kering ni sambil2 dgn recitation imam yg best.

Miraculously, ntah mcm mne, ak dpt cuti raya. Waktu ak pergi mintak dgn sp tu, ak expect jugak kne bantai ke ape. Last2 die sign je CR tanpa mempersoalkan ape2. hihi. happy nye la time tu :)



#2
"ko ni asyik nk sebut forever alone, bila ak nk introduce somebody xnak pule"
"bukan xnk, xbersedia la...perempuan ni complicated, diorg perlukan constant attention, so, aku mmg tak bersedia"
"lol, mne ade pompuan gitu *denial mode*"
"hey, ak dah byk mkn garam okay"
"lol"

hahaha. iklan je conversation kat ats. wishing advanced mabruuk to friends who r about to begin a new phase of life.

dan aku di sini masih sceptical dgn sume ni. lol.