Hati Batu

Bismillah.

My 4th clinical posting, Obstetrics and Gynecology, name glamornye, OnG la. 

Seronok. Ade babies merata-rata. haha. Dan ragam manusia pun macam2. 

Time ni la baru rase, peritnya seorg ibu nak lahirkan anak. Perjuangan antara hidup dan mati. Xterkira sakitnya. Diri sendiri xpernah lg merasa, tp sekadar melihat pun dah rase pedihnya.

Bila patient tanye, "Ni 1st time sy mengandung, xtau mcm mne nak meneran. Betul x sy meneran tadi?"

Gulp. Terdiam jap. Ape nak ckp? Ermm, I'm not even married yet, mengandung apatah lg? Tp professional je la, xkan nak ckp gitu. So, copy paste je ayat-ayat drpd nurse2 sekalian. Hahaha.

Ragam husband pun mcm2. Ade yg super supportive, hehe, alhamdulillah. Ade yg dari awl hingga akhir pandang kabinet je sbb takut nk tgk. Ade yg smpai nk termuntah dan nak pitam bagai. Hehe, baru tau betapa susahnye perempuan nak beranak. 

And i think this posting is a bit emotional for me. Ntah. Sedih segho. Byk babak2 rase nk bergelinangan air mata.

Cthnye, bile mak beranak...tp baby IUD (intrauterine death = meninggal dlm perut lg). Keluar2, lembik, biru and yes, lifeless. Nurse mintak mak confirmkan jantina baby. Lagi mencurah2 laa air mata si ibu tgk baby tu. Bab2 mcm ni rase meruntun jiwa tgk. 

Tp byk jugak happy moments nye. Esp those yang menimang ank 1st. Hehe. Menangis2 daah. Alhamdulillah. Mabruk, rezeki Allah bg. 

And I think I cleaned and wrapped babies more than I conducted d deliveries. Semangat gile, time org nk beranak, pergi cari kain baby siap2, stand by kt sebelah, dgn suction bgai. Hahaha. Baik bljr jd baby nurse gini. 

Ade course-mate ckp, after witnessing all the birth procesess, he will not demand many children from his future wife. Hahahahhaa, ok, sori. Xsengaja nak gelak. 

Hmmm, tp lain plak cite nye from the other gender. Sis Y ckp, "Women are crazy, no matter how painful the experience was, they still want to get pregnant. Hhehe, akk pun rindu nk mengandung lg :)." 

Perempuan walaupun fragile, complicated, skit2 nak nangis, terasa etc...tp Allah kurniakan mereka satu kekuatan, an ultimate strength to endure the birth pain. Melahirkan bakal2 khalifah ke dunia. 

Hoyyeaah, so, appreciate all women around u esp ur mother :)

p.s. Hati batu? haha, xde kaitan dgn isi post pn.